(via littlemiss)
"Truth... is the equivalent of love."
LINKS
My LiveJournal
My Destructoid Blog
BIO
Hello there. My name is Ryan and I work at a pretty prominent web company. I'm 21 years old, which probably makes me one of the youngest people on our floor (out of over 100 people). I have half of a college degree, a full-time job, and now I've got a place to post and re-post cool things that I like.
Nov 24
“ I lied to him, and that’s something I knew he couldn’t take…I promise I will never lie to him again, every issue I have with him I will bring to him, I don’t want to be the person I was before he came along.
Nov 23
» Paraphrased
(via loopinfinite)
The stuff I write about is the stuff I don’t want in my head. It’s a relief to see my fears and neuroses as abstract words trapped on a distant screen. Writing is flushing the toilet. I don’t create. I exorcise and destroy.
I am a neurosurgeon who’s been operating on his own brain for years. I’m trying to get rid of a tumor that started growing when I was born. I’m twisting my scalpel through throbbing masses of cancer cells, scraping tissue away here and there, but the tumor’s core is dense and knotted and I can’t quite get at it.
I don’t have a complete enough picture of what consumes me. I’m still reacting to things that happened years ago. I’m linking and unlinking thoughts and memories and trying to find the place where they meet.
Sometimes I see that place in a sudden, intuitive flash, but it fades before I can pin it onto the screen. What I wind up writing is imprecise, a paraphrased summary of whatever it was I saw.
hey, theycallmemimi!
Thanks for the follow :]
Thanks for liking my dream. <3
Oh, was it your dream? I read it and I was like… pretty! *like*
Would you light my candle? :D
(I’ll be sad if your name isn’t actually a RENT reference…)
“What’d you forget?” “Got a light?” “I know you, your… shivering” “It’s nothing, they turned of my heat, and I’m just a little weak on my feet… would you light my candle? …What are you staring at?”
As if it could be anything other than a RENT reference lol :P
“Oh no… I mean, you do have a nice… I mean… You look familiar…”
…I was hoping it was. I would’ve felt really stupid otherwise. Back when I was in high school, a bunch of us used to be addicted to those songs, including my sister, who managed to get the soundtrack (and played it over and over) before I had even seen the movie. “Light My Candle” sounded so weird out of context. *laughs*
hey, theycallmemimi!
Thanks for the follow :]
Thanks for liking my dream. <3
Oh, was it your dream? I read it and I was like… pretty! *like*
Would you light my candle? :D
Nov 22
“ I just don’t want her to hurt you again.
“I want to die….I want to just die….”
“I want to hear his voice, I want him to hold me again, I want to be there on the trip with him like we were supposed to…I don’t want him gone, no, no, no…I can’t stop crying. I can’t stop wishing this s**t never happened.”
“I don’t want anyone else, I don’t I don’t , I won’t take anyone else, they can all just ******** off…I know what I want, and I don’t want it to end up life this…”
“I guess what sucks the most is because I love him so much, he won’t be leaving my thoughts while he’s gone.
*tries to stop crying and to try breathing*
I probably sound so creepy if he ever reads this.”
“I just don’t feel like myself anymore. I’m just in so much pain. I want to be online, but at the same time I don’t; I want to call him, but at the same time, I know I shouldn’t; I want to be near him, to talk things out, for us to be together again, I want to be able to have a future with him, but as of now, my dreams are shattered, I feel I have nothing left to live for, because he is what I live for…I think about him night and day, I do what I can for him, and….and I can’t take it back….”
“I try to think of things that will cheer me up, but the most negative thoughts keep coming back to me over and over and over, as though I have absolutely no hope of being happy again.
I want to make him happy again….I want to let him know that I’ll be loyal to him and only him…”
“I want to be right for him… I want him to trust me.”
“There must be something, something I can do, something I can say. I’m dying inside faster that I expected.”
“He won’t take me back, he won’t take me back…
I’m going to see him tomorrow when he returns, we have agreed on that, to talk… I want him so much, I need him in my life…I have changed, I have thought so hard…I want to fix everything, I want to restart, there is no one else, there never will be anyone else…
I want to die, I want to disappear, I don’t want to be the old me anymore, I want to go away and never come back…”
Nov 21
“ I think the only person I hate more than myself is myself five or so years ago.
Nov 19
Finished on 11/14/2009
Made with 2 decks of Red Bicycle playing cards, 1 deck of Bicycle Ghost playing cards, electrical tape, and lots of staples.
Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin’? - Katamari Damacy (via GameTrailers.com)
In related news, GameSetWatch interviewed the creator of Katamari Damacy, which you can read at: The Melancholy of Keita Takahashi
Excerpts:
With slow, meticulous movements he wraps a length of string around the short, rounded sword he’s fashioned from a bent coat hanger. Aside from an intermittent cough, the house is otherwise empty of all noise.
…
For now, the eccentric video game designer seems happy to be playing in the abstract. Giant trails of string loop around the room, tacked to the ceiling. On some, tiny plasticine models of children hang from paperclips, swinging as trapeze artists on micro-ropes that, if ever scaled up for humans to enjoy, would defy both the laws of gravity and health and safety.
…
While we talk, Takahashi is constantly busy with his hands. Having wrapped the sword with string halfway up its hilt, he then discards the idea and unwinds his efforts. He speaks in low, thoughtful tones, and his relentless reflection of my questions makes this feel more like a therapy session than an interview, though I’m not sure whose benefit it’s for.
…
It’s impossible to not detect the melancholy in Takahashi’s demeanor. I wonder if he already has regrets about the path his life has taken him. “No. No regrets at this point. Of course, I can’t predict how I’ll feel in the future…” Maybe see how the playground turns out first, I offer. He laughs a warm, rare laugh. I ask him what makes him happy at the moment. He motions to the sword in his hand and, with a smirk, says: “Finishing this.”
Nov 18
“ I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love…
Small Pieces of an Unfinished Goodbye Letter
“I knew it would happen from the beginning.”
“Not at first anyway. I tried my best to be distant, to make sure the I didn’t fall too far in love, because I was always sure you were going to leave. I assumed it would happen. I just asked that if anything happened, that you just tell me.”
“‘Then why don’t you just not tell her?’ Jessica asked.”
“And you could see it, couldn’t you? You watched as I got more attached, as I slowly became more loving towards you.”
“I can’t trust you anymore.”
“So I agree to see you, even when I know I’m angry and I probably shouldn’t. I guess I’ve been waiting for you to do something amazing. That maybe you might find a way to give me hope. But I just end up walking away disappointed after hearing the fear in your voice as you describe something as vaguely as you possibly can in an effort to avoid talking about it, or when I ask you something and you still decide not to tell me because I ‘don’t want to hear it.’ Every time I see you, instead of feeling more optimistic, I still feel doubt.”
“But that’s not good enough. Not for someone who’s already been burned.”
“I can’t be with someone when I keep having to second-guess whether or not they’re deceiving me.”
“I just don’t think you and I were meant to be.”
“Goodbye Noelani. I’ll miss you.”
“ …it’s a constant, evolving learning experience that’s punctuated with a lot of fucking frustration, but is eventually rewarded…
— Reverend Anthony Burch
